Has been almost one year...

Studying in UK institution, sitting with foreign students.... Still, not getting me, seems very interesting... The way I talk, the way I think, and the way I dress must ve been familiar to them by now...

However just a few hours per day has been passed, feels like they are my family, the only family....Here in UK...

They call me when I m sick, they talk my stupidity when I ask strange questions from teachers...

I however know, I am good and know, read a lot, cant make others liking or understanding me the way I do... ;(


And now even hate myself writing and thinking of others liking me....

how can u ask such stupid question, u r a shame of our university...?!?!?!

I still feel the question was one of the smartest...and prooving I am the most stupid...?!?!?


aaah, dunno, feels like, I am the only person from MARS or someother planet.... ;(

Now, go back to study, know a lot, do a lot, even if try and not sleep work soo hard, I cant get good marks, dont understand, just because of not writing in an academic format, or understandable for people, i get bad marks, always...iiii....



in the end, need to change, or have bad marks....?!????

I ve fudnraised in the streets of Edinburgh as a volunteer for a charity which I have no idea about what they do....Barbado's...(one of those lots of charities, my Unibersity Raising and Giving (RAG) club...helps out...)


Which just simply can say, Have been standing with a green XXL sized T-Shirt with the words like 'I am a volunteer' and 'The name of org' and the moto, e.g. 'We bellieve in children'... ( I call street fundraising as competing with homeless people....:))



Today, the 14th of May 2009, it was not the first but not the last, but only made me thinking:
'Why I do volunteer, instead of reading for the loooots of studies scheduled to KILL Students by a desease called 'studing too much,,,'



When a person CAN think of NOTHING BUT ONLY FEEDING BIRDS as HELPING others, it is depressing enough to REALLY FEED BIRDS, NOTHING ELSE....


Or, go to any charity u can name and volunteer there as much as u can,,,, For now, that is the only thing I can do for OTHERS... Even if I have no idea about the rate of corruption in the org, or the activity they do, maybe coz of being lazy or just was selfish enough to lie myself imagining as I was a Jesus, or Buddha or PEACEBIRD...or a superhero, etc.,,


So, all and all, as a student like me, as living in 2009, and as a person who thinks I am nothing for now, and need to study, to do big, what I ve decided to help others and done is absolutely the best solution, and of course, there should be LOTS OF BETTER OPTION TO HELP OTHERS, like always, but NOT ONLY FEEDING BIRDS...:)



'Thing to do in life'
by Dadu.D (Heriot Watt university, Edinburgh, 2009)